Are you worried that your child might become a target in school? If your child is autistic, you already know how challenging social interactions can be for them. But what happens when other kids mistake their quietness, stimming, or lack of eye contact for weakness?
Unfortunately, bullying is a harsh reality in many Nigerian schools, and studies show that 60% of children and young adults with autism often bear the brunt of it. Bullies prey on differences, whether it’s speech delays, sensory sensitivities, or just not "fitting in." And let’s be honest, Nigerian schools aren’t always equipped to handle these situations properly.
But here’s the good news: you don’t have to stand by helplessly. Whether your child is already facing bullying or you’re trying to prevent it, there are practical steps you can take to protect them.
What to Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied
1. Remove Your Child from the Situation Immediately
If your child comes home crying, withdrawn, or suddenly refusing school, don’t ignore it. Bullying leaves scars. Sometimes invisible ones. The first step? Take them out of that environment, even if just temporarily. A short break (like a vacation or study leave) can give them space to recover while you figure out the next move.
2. Notify the Bully’s Parents (But Be Strategic)
In Nigeria, confronting another parent can be… tricky. Some parents get defensive ("My child would never do that!"). Others might not care. But if you approach it calmly, maybe with evidence like messages, bruises, or teacher reports, you stand a better chance of being taken seriously.
3. Report to the Teacher and School Management
Don’t just stop at telling the class teacher. If the parents are uncooperative, escalate it to the school. And make sure to put it in writing. Schools respond better when there’s a paper trail. You can send a formal complaint to the principal, and keep copies. If nothing changes? Involve the PTA or even the Ministry of Education if necessary.
Remember, Nigerian schools sometimes sweep bullying under the rug. Be persistent.
4. Document Everything
Dates. Times. Witnesses. Injuries. Screenshots of nasty messages. This isn’t paranoia, it’s protection. If things escalate (God forbid), you’ll need evidence.
5. Social Media
These days, social media has become the last hope of the common man, a powerful tool in seeking justice. Cases like bullying have a tendency to go viral and no school wants to deal with bad publicity. If you've tried all other means to get the school authority to handle the issue and it's not forthcoming, then the court of public opinion might just be your fastest bet. Make sure to come with receipts and proof and be careful not to abuse the tool.
How to Prevent Bullying Before It Starts
Maybe your child hasn’t been bullied yet, but you’re worried. Good. Prevention is easier than damage control. Here’s how to reduce the risks:
1. Teach Them Basic Self-Protection (Without Fear-Mongering)
Autistic kids may not always pick up on social cues, but they can learn simple responses like:
- Walking away from trouble.
- Ignoring taunts (bullies want a reaction).
- Telling a trusted adult immediately.
Role-play scenarios at home. Practice what to say if someone calls them names or pushes them.
2. Teach Them To Speak Up for Themselves
Don't let them become pushovers. Teach them that their opinions matter and that they shouldn't give in to bullies. Don't shut them up, have meaningful conversations with them, and let them express themselves positively. You can play the devil's advocate on topics they're passionate about to get them talking, as long as you set the record straight after each session. If they're non-verbal, visit a speech therapist.
3. Be Their Confidante
Most times, children try to hide bullying from their parents out of embarrassment, worry or fear when threatened into silence. However the earlier they speak up the better because bullying can cause lasting damage on a child's psyche. Being their confidante makes it easier for them to come to you with their problems, including when they get bullied. If you're finding it difficult to emotionally connect with your child, you can start by asking about specific parts of their day in school. Develop genuine interest in whatever excites them and take mental notes so you can easily follow up.
4. Be Super Observant
While kids don’t always speak up, there are tells to watch for. Keep your radar up for:
- Unexplained bruises or torn uniforms.
- Sudden mood swings after school.
- Lost or "missing" belongings.
- Refusing to go to school.
Trust your gut. If something feels off, dig deeper.
5. Build Their Confidence Outside School
Bullies target kids who seem vulnerable. Help your child develop a sense of pride in who they are. Enroll them in activities they enjoy art, coding, swimming where they can shine. Confidence is armor.
6. Choose the Right School
Not all Nigerian schools are autism-friendly. Ask questions before enrolling:
- Do they have anti-bullying policies?
- Are teachers trained in special needs education?
- Is there a counselor?
If you're in a toxic or totally non-supportive school, sometimes, switching schools is the best solution. Here's a guide on accessing the best autism friendly schools and resources in Nigeria.
Final Thought: Your Child Deserves Safety and Happiness
Bullying isn’t just kids being kids. It’s damaging, especially for autistic children who may struggle to process the emotional toll. But here’s the thing. You have power. By staying alert, speaking up, and teaching your child resilience, you can shield them from the worst of it.
So, what’s your next move? Will you observe more closely? Talk to the school? Or maybe start those confidence-building activities this weekend? Whatever you do, don’t wait until it’s too late.
Because every child, autistic or not, deserves to learn in peace.