Autism is often misunderstood in Nigeria. Many families struggle to talk about it, especially with siblings, extended relatives, and friends. Some believe a child’s behaviors are just signs of stubbornness or delayed development, while others may assume it’s a spiritual issue. This lack of understanding can create unnecessary stress for both the child and their caregivers. So, how do you explain autism in a way that fosters acceptance, patience, and support?

Start from what they already know 

Try to find out what they know about autism. This gives you a fairly good idea of what to use as a reference point. It is best to explain with terms they are familiar with and build from there. For siblings, asking questions like do you know why Ebube is special? Have you heard about autism? What do you think it is about? Friends closer to your age might not need much cuddling. You can bring up the subject by asking in such a way that promotes conversation and doesn't look like a quiz or an interrogation.

Keep It Simple but Honest

Children notice differences. A sibling might ask, “Why doesn’t he talk like me?” or “Why does she flap her hands?” It’s important to explain autism in a way that makes sense for their age.

This is a conversation that you'll probably have lots of times especially if it's their sibling or family. For the very first conversation, it's best to explain it in really simple terms to avoid confusion. Use age appropriate language for the young ones and make sure you have their attention. Let them know that it is an important topic but do not make it a somber one. And that autism is not an illness or something to be fixed, just a different way of experiencing the world. Use analogies to draw a better picture and help them understand it more.

Others would probably need more information. That's okay, you can go into as much detail as you're comfortable with, as long as the conversation remains respectful and empathetic. A good approach is to explain how autism affects communication, social interactions, and sensory experiences. Reassure them that their feelings matter too and encourage open conversations about any concerns they have.

Encourage them to ask questions and answer them as best as you can.

This is the perfect time to address misconceptions about autism. You should use this opportunity to emphasize that it is a diagnosis and not an illness. The younger children might not understand this right away but you should try to explain it as best as you can. Asking questions also helps you gauge their assimilation of your topic and what terms need to be re-explained. 

Listening attentively is equally important as it helps you know their worries and thoughts on the subject matter in order to know those that need dispelling and feelings. Most siblings of autistic children often feel neglected. If he/she admits to it now, this might be the best time to make them understand that they are loved and wanted just as much as their siblings.

Be aware that this is a three step active process involving asking questions, listening and addressing questions asked/encouraging more questions. This is a cycle and should not be rushed. Rather, allow it to run its course until reasonable questions have been exhausted. 

Address Cultural Beliefs

In many Nigerian households, extended family members play a big role in a child’s life. Grandparents, uncles, and aunts may have strong opinions differ from yours and are shaped by tradition. You might hear comments like, “He will talk when he is ready” or “You’re just not disciplining her enough.”

In Nigeria we often believe that most conditions out of the ordinary are either misfortunes or spiritual with superstitious reasons feeding this misconception. It's worse when they are involved in the direct care of your children. Your children look up to them and choosing to ignore or uneducate would put you at risk of having those misconceptions and beliefs passed over to your children, undoing all the progress you've made, contradicting you and confusing your children. Instead of tolerating their ignorance or reacting defensively, approach these conversations with patience. Explain that autism is a neurological condition, not a result of parenting style. 

Sharing real-life examples can be powerful. If they see that your child responds better to visual instructions rather than verbal ones, use that as a teaching moment: “He understands better when we show him things instead of just telling him.”

If a relative insists on outdated remedies or superstitions, redirect the conversation towards scientific explanations. Medical professionals can also be helpful allies. Inviting a trusted doctor to speak to family members might carry more weight than personal explanations.

Create Awareness

People around you may not understand your autistic child's behaviour and as such, may have difficulty interacting with them. For example, your friends and neighbours might wonder why your child refuses to respond or greet, or why they avoid eye contact. Clearing this up by creating awareness of your child’s condition and preferences prevents awkward situations and preserves a peaceful and healthy environment for you and your child. So Instead of letting misunderstandings build, be proactive in explaining.

One approach is to provide practical guidance: “She’s not ignoring you, sometimes it takes her brain a little longer to process what’s being said.” Or, “He doesn’t like loud noises, so sudden shouts might upset him. Some times this could set the stage for an in-depth conversation about autism in general. That's one less misinformed individual. A win!

Encouraging Empathy and Support

The goal isn’t just awareness, it’s fostering a supportive environment. Encouraging siblings to be patient, family members to be understanding, and friends to be inclusive makes a world of difference for an autistic child.

Small actions can have a big impact. A sibling learning to adjust how they play, a grandparent trying a new way to communicate, or a friend making an effort to include an autistic child in group activities. All these create a more accepting space where the child can thrive.

At the heart of it, explaining autism isn’t just about definitions. It’s about changing perspectives, breaking down misconceptions, and creating a circle of support that allows every child, regardless of their neurological differences, to feel valued and understood.